Don’t wreck your chances with these moves @ Tips on Body Language
Whether it’s at an interview, a presentation or simply coffee with the team, your body language may decide how others perceive you. Yet most people don’t realize that posture, or the way you place your hands, can even set you back at work.
If
your non-verbal behaviour is timid and weak, even the strongest performance
review may not translate into a promotion.
This
holds particularly true for women. A 2016 study by Melissa J. Williams,
assistant professor at the Goizueta Business School at Emory University, found
that unlike what happens when they assert themselves verbally, women aren’t
penalized for assertive behaviour expressed through non-verbal means such as
hand gestures.
Unknowingly,
however, many women keep making three mistakes that can cost them. When we
first see someone in a professional environment, we try to assess if they look
like a winner or loser. We like being around winners, learning from them and
being friends with them. But women, often conditioned to appear “lady-like”, do
not project themselves as winners through their body language.
This
can affect their ability to project confidence at work. It’s important to have
the body language of a winner—and you can practise it, though it tends to be
innate rather than a learned gesture, according to a 2008 study by Jessica
Tracy, a University of British Columbia, Canada, researcher.
She
investigated congenitally blind athletes in the Paralympics and observed their
non-verbal behaviour, specifically during victory and defeat. The study found
that when blind athletes won, they would raise their hands to the sky in the
classic expression of pride. When they lost, they would roll their body into
the foetal position, the usual expression of disappointment. This, when these
athletes had never seen someone win or lose a race.
You
should try to avoid slouching or shrinking your physical form. Pull your chin
up, draw your shoulders back, uncross your arms and plant your feet on the
ground.
Success
has many parameters, and many fathers. All of this is temporary, it ebbs and
flows, the stock market goes up and down, valuations go up and down.
More
companies die of indigestion than starvation. So don’t go over-capitalize
yourself. And stop praying to the unicorn. It’s a mythical animal, it’s ugly
and it does not exist. So if people ask you who you are, you should say you are
a cockroach because you can survive in a microwave oven, and in a nuclear
holocaust.
We
don’t run a cricket team, where a Virat Kohli or an individual scorer or a
Shikhar Dhawan gets you across the line. We are running a soccer team.
In
a lot of cases, it’s mental masturbation. Execution is the key. Tactical tip:
Headed to an important meeting? Carry all your stuff in one smart bag. If
you’re used to carrying a laptop bag, purse and tiffin bag, that’s too much
load on your shoulders to maintain a confident posture.
Always
keep your phone at eye level so that you’re not unknowingly putting yourself in
a foetal pose. Women often tend to keep their hands under the table, between
their thighs or crossed; all these moves lower credibility. Here’s why: Our
hands are our trust indicators.
As
a survival mechanism, our brains needed to quickly know whether someone was
friend or foe. Our ancestors made survival decisions based solely on visual
information; when someone approached with hands out of view, it was a clear
signal of potential danger. This is deeply ingrained in our subconscious.
So
when you’re sitting across someone in a meeting, keep your hands above the
table and clear of any obstruction like a glass, bag or folder.
Tactical tip:
When
sitting in a boardroom, ensure that your hands are resting loosely above the
table. If there is no table, keep your hands comfortable on the chair handles.
Now that winter is here, ensure that you’re warm enough before you enter an
important meeting— this will ensure you don’t feel the need to cross your arms.
Always keep your dominant hand free of bags or folders for a comfortable
handshake. Do you constantly stroke your hair or play with your necklace? These
are called pacifying or self-soothing gestures that provide comfort in
uncomfortable situations. Basically, your brain sends a message to your body to
pacify it and your hands respond with this gesture that stimulates nerve
endings, releasing endorphins, which are calming hormones. A more discreet
version of sucking your thumb (some of you may have done this to calm yourself
as a child), it includes stroking your hair, pulling at your collar, rubbing
your arms, touching your face, tapping your foot, playing with an object,
touching the back of your neck or holding your upper arm in a self-hug.
While
you have every right to comfort yourself, these gestures can project an image
of someone tentative, unprepared or low on confidence.
Tactical
tip:
If
you’re at a networking event and want to calm your nerves, hold a glass of
water. It will help you to avoid self-soothing behaviour. Or, if you’re
presenting, hold a clicker in your hand. Make sure your lips are well hydrated
with a good lip balm. You might be licking your dry lips for moisture but, to
the other person, it’s likely to come across as a self-soothing signal.
In
short, remember the 3s’s— stand tall, show hands and avoid self-soothing
behaviour. Khyati Gupta Babbar is a body language trainer at Santulan, a firm
that creates behavioural wellness solutions for companies. Write to us at
businessoflife@livemint.com
Source | Mint – 18th December 2017
Regards
Pralhad
Jadhav
Senior Manager @
Knowledge Repository
Khaitan &
Co
Twitter Handle | @Pralhad161978
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