What is more
important for success intelligence or amiability? Most people would think the
former was the answer but increasingly, studies indicate that the latter might
matter as much, if not more
Think about it. Is
your daily work life more to do with information, facts and figures or team and
boss management, meetings, strategic ideation and the constant effort to stay
calm in the face of stress? Granted, some jobs are more cerebral than others,
but for most of us engaged in the corporate world, the workplace is a complex
playground of emotions, interpersonal clashes and attitudinal issues. To
navigate this playground in a way that ensures your success and happiness, a
healthy dose of EQ (Emotional Quotient) is indispensable.
In
India, we are completely sold on the idea that equates grades with success. But
since the 90s, various studies have pinpointed a strange fact average graders
often go on to become more successful than their more `intelligent'
counterparts. Many of us have witnessed this among our own erstwhile
classmates. Students who never managed to get any attention from the teachers
are now in senior positions in reputed organisations. How did they manage it?
The answer is not always workplace politics or `contacts' as we often assume.
Some people are just naturally gifted with a higher EQ and this helps them to
connect with others and manage their own emotions at work better. In the words
of Kirti Vaswani, co-founder, EQ Learn, “According to Peter Salovey (Yale
University) and John Mayer (University of New Hampshire), authors of the
seminal paper titled `Emotional Intelligence', EI is the ability to monitor
one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to
use this information to guide one's thinking and actions. Emotional Quotient
(EQ) is the measure of emotional intelligence, just as IQ is the measure of
cognitive intelligence.“
So,
does this mean that emotional intelligence is outside the purview of education?
School curricula certainly seem to be in agreement with this notion. All we are
ever taught in classrooms is science, mathematics and languages. There are no
courses on perceptive thinking or self-awareness. But maybe, there should be. “While children
and adults can be trained in concepts of Social and Emotional Learning (SEL),
this domain falls in the realm of the subjective and the intangible and hence,
cannot be “taught“ using conventional methods.Yet, even exposure to concepts
such as self-awareness, stress perception manage ment, generosity , and
purposeful living, can significantly improve decisionmaking and
implementations, leading to higher productivity and greater joy ,“ says Piya
Mukherjee, director, VESLARC (Vivekanad Education Society's Leadership Academy
and Research Centre).
Talent
is great but when it comes combined with a great personality, it's even better.
“You don't have to be the smartest or most hard working person to be
successful. A lot of times, being the nicest person who makes people around
feel relaxed and comfortable adds to success,“ says Mahesh Singhi, founder and
MD, Singhi Advisors.
The
surest evidence of EQ being a vital determinant of an individual's success is
the difference it has made to the lives of many . “Listening with empathy
(listening to understand and not preparing to respond) has prevented many a
times, issues from escalating as crises and going beyond control,“ shares A
Thiru, president (corporate HR), JK Organisation.
These
days, a few schools are mushrooming solely to impart courses on emotional
intelligence. The day doesn't seem far when it is incorporated into corporate
training and learning modules as well.
HOW
CAN YOU UP YOUR EQ?
We've
made a good case for EQ. But how do you
go about building up your EQ if you haven't been a pro at people management so
far? Madhuri Singh, consulting psychiatrist, Nanavati Super Speciality Hospital
offers a few tips: Stay cool under pressure.
This will keep your judgment intact; Keep a watch on your negative
emotions. This will keep all prejudices
away and there will be no misunderstandings with the person; Be proactive; not
reactive.
When
angry, count till 100, so that by then, your reactions are softer and less
harmful.
This
way you can empathise better; Learn to assert and express negative emotions but
not by blaming others. Say `I don't like this' rather than saying `you did
this'; Learn from your experiences.
And
try not to repeat them; Build relationships with people by expressing intimate
emotions directly on a one-on-one basis. Start by asking questions about health
or family or expressing appreciation.
Source | Times of
India | 19 August 2015
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